NOV 1 . . . . . . jz sad

well . . . it was about yesterday . . . but i slept early . . . so i jz write bout it today

 

wednesday . . . kinda a busy day for mi . . .

in the morning i gotta get up and go for volleyball practice on 8.30 am . . .

then in the evening i gt class in the college . . .

and in the late afternoon i gt guitar class . . .

 

actually for mi . . . all these isn't anything  tough or anything . . . but after yesterday . . . something seems to be changed . . .

 

in the morning . . . for mi i used to be quite ok wif sports . . . mi & my frenz entered volleyball for co-co . . .

but im the onli 1 who played volleyball among all of them . . .

then i tot i should be a little better or easier to 'merge-in'  or even be able to help out my frenz . . .

but after the morning . . . i discovered im not as good as i tot i am . . . im jz not . . .

then zhiwei started to become kinda angry cuz v r losing a game . . . man . . . there's a state player & 3 another guy that knows how to play . . .

while everybody else in our team was 1st time playin volleyball . . . wad do dat guy expect . . .

im not blaming anything . . . jz hope zhiWei really can control his attitude & temper . . . i now he tried . . . but he jz nid to try harder . . .

bad temper & attitude will jz make u lose everything . . . not everyont is the same . . . so try to be better . . .

 

then when in programming class . . . Mr. Liaw was teaching in front & i try to understand wad he taught . . .

the problem is im not sure dat if i realli now how to do those question . . .

ppl might tot i get a gud result for last sem . . . but actually i don't . . . subjects like programming & IT i get B's . . . and for sure dat is not enough . . .

Programming Concepts for last sem wasn't dat difficult compared to this sem . . . but still i gt a B . . .

i dunno anything now . . . i jz dunno . . .

 

after the class i had to wait for another hour till my guitar class starts . . .

the sky is looking dark so i borrowed an umbrealla from Jian . . . then it really started to rain when i was walking to the music club . . .

my pants was soaked when i reach the house . . . then i went in & waited for the class to start . . .

my tutor is David for this lvl but he's busy wif sumthing else so IS came to replace him . . .

he was really soaked as he ran through the rain to come to the class . . . so gud

there's 5 students including mi in the class . . . but only mi & wong(was in the same class wif mi too in lvl 1)

did went to lvl 1 . . . the other 2 girls & a guy had basic & came straight into lvl2 . . .

when v starts to play song i was shocked . . . i was shocked how gud these guys are . . .

mayb not really a great guitarist . . . but for sure whole lot better than mi . . .

datz when im thinking . . . " man . . . these guys are way in another lvl compared to mi . . . "

haha . . . im laughing . . . im laughing because how arrogant i can be . . .

from the test last lvl . . . i  tot im quite gud playing my guitar . . . but now . . . i know . . . i noe how little i am . . . jz how little i am . . .

after the class i told IS how i felt . . . then he jz say : " jz keep ur hardwork on ur guitar . . . "

 

then i went home by bus . . . the bus was empty . . . the driver waited the bus to be full before it start . . .

while i was waiting others to cum on the bus . . . i was thinking . . .

' im weak . . . i used to be week . . . and im still is now . . .

  i tot i grew stronger . . . mayb better in some places . . . but im not . . .

  i jz now how to use my 'mouth' . . . to talk cock & boast . . . how can this be ??

  im alwaz thinking dat life's meaningless . . . the onli thing dat keeps mi goin is my mom . . . and i nid to take care of my mom . . . datz y i study . . .

  another is my frenz . . . they keeps my life colourful . . . well . . . at least some colour . . .

  but now . . . do i still manage to really take care my mom ??

  do i manage to keep on my studies in college ??

  or will i jz be a failure ??

  wad im doin now i dont think is enuf . . . but . . . how will it be enough . . . jz how ?? '

 

then i reach home and did nothing fr the nite . . . at nite i slept at 11 something . . . early . . . way too early . . .

 

or maybe the problem is jz too early . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .